Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships.
Sometimes we make mistakes that bring our marriages at the verge of a complete breakup. It usually happens when the main building block of a marriage i.e. trust is exploited by an unfaithful partner. Sometimes the conscious-stricken partner realizes the damage brought to the marriage and wants to correct everything but finds it difficult. Though it really is a very complicated thing to bring back life to normal after such a betrayal, as the damage caused is too huge to imagine, but some serious efforts can still save your marriage. If your have been into such a distressing situation, and have harmed the feelings of your spouse, here are some tips on how to rebuild trust in a marriage:
Also read: 7 Ways to Build Trust in Relationships
Stop lying and own your actions. It was you who betrayed your partner, and now, it’s your sole responsibility to correct whatever has happened. The reunion process would suffer from its worst part if you continue to lie. So stop lying. Realize that you had been dishonest during the whole period of unfaithfulness. You were the reason of breaking your partner’s trust and lying further can simply enhance their emotional pain. It’s time to step into the world of courage and start telling the truth.
Be honest, brutally honest. That is what’s going to maintain relationships.
Stop Being Defensive:
If you are sincere enough to save your marriage, then stop being defensive. You were the one who hurt your partner, and now it’s time to face the consequences. The process of rebuilding trust in marriage starts by making some genuine and conscious efforts. The first step is to take the full responsibility of your own immature, selfish actions. Being defensive gives out the impression of you being further unfaithful.
Stop Hiding Things:
Stop hiding your emails and text messages. Remove all the passwords from your laptop, smart phone and tablet. Offer your spouse to see your call log, address book, bank statements and phone bills. Be an open book to your partner. Though it’s quite hard for a person who has always lived an independent private life, but to save your marriage, you need to put your privacy at bay. Remember one important point.. even if you have left everything you used to indulge in, just because you love your spouse, and can’t afford to lose them; you are still doubtful in their eyes! The reason is simple; you shattered this “trust”, which is a bedrock of every relationship. It might hurt you, but the truth is that you brought all the mistrust and suspicions into your previously happy marriage. The best way of restoring trust in marriage is to ease their insecurities by being open to them in every possible way.
Being present for your spouse all the time is of utmost importance. It must be understood that they have been subjected to severe emotional distress. This misery can enhance further, with ‘you’ not being around. Your partner’s thoughts, torments and worries can force them to take some extreme steps. Save them from being further depressed by making yourself available.
Use Your Rights Wisely:
Being a spouse, you have many rights upon your better half. But once you have shaken the trust and caused harm to the conviction in your relationship, you have lost the luxury of using those rights freely. Before everything gets to normal, you need to be very careful. The feelings of frightfulness and insecurity cultivated by you in your spouse’s heart would take time to pacify. Don’t worsen things by angrily forcing your rights. Have patience.
Make Your Spouse Feel Special:
Focus deliberately on making your spouse feel special. Dedicate yourself wholeheartedly after the disturbing incident of lie and betrayal. If you fail to give attention to your spouse at this critical time, your relationship is sure to suffer from unimaginable destruction. Your partner was, and is, the most important person in your life. Don’t let this most vital individual suffer further because of what you have already done. Regain their feelings of trust and help them overcome their fears. Let them share with you what they think and what they feel. Don’t forget that they have been hurt beyond your imagination.